In Memory of Bella

Wow. It's been almost a full month since my last post, and so much has happened since then...

I'm going to share pictures of one specific spin that I've been working on, and some pictures of my beloved Bella. (and cry in the process of writing this and sharing the pictures, I'm sure.)

Because I just can't, I don't have the energy or the courage, to write out again why I've been absent or why I'm crying in the posting of this, I will be adding in quotes from posts I've written off Ravelry. They may not make as much sense in this format, but they'll get the general idea across.

We got testing back. It isn’t good. It’s really, really, really bad.

Right now Bella is resting easy, snoring, on my bed, right in between my legs.

She spent quite a long time at the vet clinic today. Last Friday when we brought her in, she presented with symptoms that the vet didn’t think were life threatening or required blood work. She had puked a couple times and hadn’t eaten for a few days. She was drinking just fine, and just seemed tired until we asked if she wanted a car ride. Today when she went in for blood work (because even after anti nausea meds she still wasn’t eating), her physical poking & prodding side of things revealed that her abdomen is tender to pressure. That prompted X-rays, which found nothing wrong. Blood work was already in the works (she was such a good girl for the X-rays and blood work - no sedation needed), so we just had to wait. 

Her kidneys are failing. She’s dying.

The vet suspects that it’s either cancer (though no tumors showed up on any X-rays, and she got whole body exam and X-rays) or poison. We’re doing a test for Addison’s disease, just to see, because that’s treatable. It’s exceedingly rare. I’m not hopeful. More than likely we’ll be back at the vet on Thursday or Friday to help Bella cross the rainbow bridge.

...it’s been really rough. Things are up and down, and luckily I have other fur babies that need my love and attention. If they weren’t around, I’m pretty sure I’d be balled up in bed doing absolutely nothing but bawling my eyes out.

 I had to help my soul dog cross the rainbow bridge this evening. This is about the time, 5 year ago, that the local animal control picked her up off the street as a stray. Purple was her color - her collar was purple, her favorite blankets on our bed were purple, I knit a cowl for her in purple...

As a celebration of her life, and in memory of the wonderful animal control officers who made sure she was sheltered until I got her, I’m going to continue to spin my purple Inglenook Fibers. It matched her collar perfectly.

  I took Molly out for a walk earlier, and just started bawling because I was missing Bella - we always went for walks in a set of three! I went to the kitchen for a glass of water, turned around, and saw the empty spot that Bella always sat in watching me do whatever.